2003’s rock comedy hit School of Rock, is one of the coolest comedies of the early noughties. Starring Tenacious D’s ebullient and musically talented lead singer Jack Black, School of Rock tells the story of a jettisoned rock star, down on his luck after the band he created kicked him out of it, and his remarkable resurgence to superstardom courtesy of a class of school children he surreptitiously teaches, in order to conquer the yearly Battle of the Bands competition.

Jack Black plays an overweight, showboating wannabe rock icon Dewey Finn, a shredding guitar musician, who fronted a band called No Vacancy. After a gig where Dewey performs a 20-minute solo, whilst engaging in buffoonish show-off behaviour, which included an ill-fated stage dive that knocked him out; No Vancancy vote unanimously to kick him out of the band, due to being tired of his flashy antics, as well as wanting to be more serious so they can land record deals.

Finn, irritated that he had been kicked out of the band he had built, gives one of the band members the rebellious instruction to read between the lines, promising to gather together a huge band of his own, that’ll leave No Vacancy wallowing as a foot note on Dewey’s epic ass-as he so eloquently put it.

So Dewey goes on to forge his huge epic band…….by faking to be his best friend by committing identity theft, calling himself Ned Schneebly, so he could become a teacher at a local school and use the children to enact his revenge on his former bandmates.

The behaviour exhibited by Mr Finn in the last paragraph and throughout School of Rock was highly illegal in any normal circumstance, and all of it demonstrates why School of Rock didn’t deserve to win Battle of Bands-because there is plenty of wide-open examples of deceit at play here.

Dewey’s mission to start this amazing rock band goes off without a hitch for the most part. He realizes the children’s musical talents by spying on them playing classical music in their proper music class, then he proceeds to grab instruments from the back of his van, setting it all up in the classroom ready for their return to his classroom.

Despite the insanity of not getting caught moving instruments into the school, spying on children is freakishly unbecoming of an adult let-alone a spurious teacher.

When the children returned to Mr Finn’s classroom, Dewey puts the children’s musical skills to the test before assigning them positions in the band. All this goes on without many problems, though one of the faculty reported to the headteacher Ms Mullins, saying she heard music coming from his classroom-which was quickly dealt with, as the children rapidly put away the instruments and returned to their seating positions; so when Ms Mullins inspected the classroom, there was not the slightest concern, and Dewey deflected any suspicion by simply saying that he hasn’t heard any music emanating from the classroom at all.

Another example of a close call which would later seem not to carry through in any way, is when School of Rock go and audition for Battle of the bands. The crew was late, and the guy in charge refused to hear their music, so Dewey gets the band to pretend they’re all seriously sick, so they can gain sympathy to participate in the audition. The plan actually worked-and then it wasn’t carried through or spoken of again afterwards.

This lie shows the headaches that come with trying to cover your tracks in a highly risky and perilous situation. You can tell from this scene that the charade is already in a spot of jeopardy, but Dewey is dead-set to ride this fakery as far as he can.

Sooner or later though the real you comes out and what a better way to unravel and expose your true self than in front of the kids and their parents at a parents’ evening. Here, Dewey weakly mentions all the subjects he didn’t teach the children and responds to disgruntled parents about their children’s strange musical interests at home then off the corner of his eye. Dewey then spots Ned and his girlfriend speaking to a police officer, which distracts Dewey verbally, before the policeman walks into the classroom, where the shit really hits the proverbial fan.

Dewey reveals he isn’t Ned Schneebly but Dewey Finn, before explaining how awesome the kids are, and then in an extremely awkward line he states that “I have been touched by your kids, and I’m pretty sure I’ve touched them”. A moment of silent falls on the classroom, then opens up filling the air with disgust and anger, forcing Dewey to pick up his guitars and race out of the school to avoid the stampede of angry parents.

This scene is a nightmare scenario, even if the cracks were beginning to show already. The real Ned Schneebly had taddled and his gentle nature was manipulated to change Dewey’s fate-at least until everybody got over it and Dewey was able to take the kids to the Battle of the Bands.

Now, after all this preliminary stuff, we arrive at why No Vacancy rightfully won Battle of the Bands. Before digging in, it’s important to highlight that it’s easy to root for Dewey, as he got kicked out of No Vacancy unceremoniously and he built the band who ostracized him. It’s also very admirable that he took the risks he did to become a teacher at a school and amass this huge band full of children, one of them who actually wrote the song ‘Rock’s Got No Reason’, and another who became the band manager. And with all that praise, it’s now time to eviscerate School of Rock and Dewey because No Vacancy absolutely and undeniably won the Battle of the Bands contest, no matter how straightforward they might appear to be.

First things first, No Vacancy wanted to be taken seriously as a band, they wanted to evolve from who they were. This isn’t about “selling out”, this is about changing the band for the better. Yes, it’s easy to think that going more corporate is a bad thing, but if you want to get ahead, you need to do something bigger and better. Dewey says he cared about the music, but did he really? He played around, acted like a showoff and the ultimate stage presence, it seems it’s more about him, not about the music.

Second of all, the song played by No Vacancy was much better than what School of Rock produced. They are both very good songs, Rock Got No Reason is empowering and the performance was all-encompassing and spectacular. However, the lyrics and the message of the song is ass-backwards. The message is that rock is generally more important than learning in a school environment. Take this introductory lyric “baby we were making straight A’s but we was stuck in a dumb daze,” how do you get straight As when you are stuck in a dumb daze? The song is a show-pony, more about the spectacle and the ceremony, not about making sense.

Now flipping over to No Vacancy and their hit “Heal Me, I’m Heart Sick,” it just sounds better, and there’s an emotional and personal heft to it. No, there is no spectacle, no attention-grabbing light shows or big and brazen sense of presence. This song is bleeding with passion and talent-both of which was cruelly undermined by the audience and by Dewey himself.

My final big point here, is that whilst No Vacancy were respectful and reasonable, Dewey was angry and resorted to criminality and exploitation in order to gain revenge, all because he couldn’t see that the band was evolving. It’s crazy that the audience at the Battle of the Bands cheered and celebrated all the illegality and booed a genuine band who wanted to make progress. I guess it’s a parable of what us humans find entertaining, rallying behind it as readily as a thunderous stomping bloat of hippos, with anything genuine but subtly presented cast aside because they aren’t memorable enough.

To tie things together, No Vacancy deserved to win the Battle of the Bands because they had a vision and they wanted to get ahead. There’s nothing wrong with this ideal, we all need to do what is best for ourselves to make headway. Dewey’s actions meanwhile were empowered by seething bitterness, showing this by fraudulently pretending to be his best friend Ned Schneebly, using the children at Horace Green prep school as an armada for vengeance, and lying continuously to keep up the façade. Dewey is a decent and well-meaning dude, but his resentment was his undoing, but instead of the film punishing him for not learning lessons, him and his band are rewarded with an encore and we get a happy ending. School of Rock’s performance was a showpiece, but No Vacancy’s efforts veered towards a masterpiece-thankfully the latter won the show and the lesson is be genuine, upfront and honest and do not date a headteacher at a prep school.